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On Civility, and Constructive Engagement

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A DK commenter reminded me of a diary I wrote a while back, suggested I repost it. These are just suggestions and guidelines that I try to follow, things that I've found are helpful when I get involved in conflicts on DK. There are always ongoing conflicts on DK, so this seems like as good a time as any to discuss more constructive engagement. FWIW, I agree that there is some deliberately disruptive behavior on DK, but I believe that most of the conflict is based on well-intentioned individuals who are committed to the DK community, responding protectively.

Unfortunately, it's very easy for well-intentioned behavior to escalate conflict. A careless comment, a well-crafted jab, a casual insult can all be very satisfying for the giver, and easily justified as "just part of the game". However, being on the receiving end is not as pleasant. No-one like being a victim, and most people will respond in kind, or escalate. Humans are very good at conflict - it's been a core component of the human experience for a very long time. When someone crosses our boundaries, when someone attacks an ally, or something we care about, we respond. This is how conflicts escalate.

At the same time, there are some DK participants who are deliberate disrupters, or trolls. They're not well-intentioned participants, their goal is to disrupt constructive discussion. Identifying and neutralizing these individuals is important in protecting the DK community, but engaging them directly risks
1-Collateral damage, by incorrectly targeting perceived disrupters who are well-intentioned members of the community.
2-Escalating conflict, by feeding the fire - providing skilled disrupters opportunities for increased disruption.

So what's a good Kossack to do? Here are some approaches that I've found constructive - please share yours!


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